Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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