you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
