I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
