I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are we in a gay sports bar?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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