i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
