why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
