How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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