he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
