Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
