i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
