last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
