Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
