And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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