It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
