my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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