i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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