This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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