He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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