Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
