I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
