If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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