Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
