Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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