i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
