Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
