i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
