yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
