i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
