Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
