Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
