Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
