you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
