New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
