i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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