Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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