i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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