Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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