that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
