god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
