We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
