also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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