Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How external is "for external use only"?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
