How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
