This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
