Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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