I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
