I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
