I got chris browned last night
Your tits are I can't wait for
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
