stop calling my apartment porn island.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
