now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
