that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I checked into jail on foursquare
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
