Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
