your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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